I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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