I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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