Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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