I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
