I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This is my gift to your gina
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
