I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize