wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
