Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
