After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
