What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
