I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
try to milk me bitch
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