The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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