Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
