break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
