Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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