the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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