i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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