I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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