Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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