and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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