He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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