I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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