Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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