I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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