In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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