he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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