so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
