you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She announced her abortion via fbk
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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