Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
