I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
