girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
