So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
