If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
