im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
