so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
