It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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