I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
