so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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