This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
