so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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