even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
