Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i think i just lost a toe
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
