i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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