I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
