I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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