true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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