Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize