How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
