So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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