The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
