i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
