Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize