Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize