So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
