Cold hands, warm shart.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
