Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drake has all the answers
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
