the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
